In the opening paragraph of Anna Karenina, Tolstoy summarized the truth underlying the relationship between family structure and social interest: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.' ' Individuals in happy families are likely to be good citizens; whereas unhappy, dysfunctional families can be a catalyst for many social problems and instability. Society's interest in fostering good citizenship, promoting individual happiness, encouraging social stability, and preventing a drastic increase in social problems gives it an incentive to foster happy families." Another family theorist notes that "[t]he family is the fundamental building block of society," and "[t]hroughout much of human history the family has not only been the fundamental unit of socialization, but it has been the basic economic unit also."' 3 Yet another scholar states "that the stability of the state depends upon the stability of the family."

The Seedbed of Democracy

Truly, "[t]he family is the very seedbed of democracy. Home is the place where we get our first ideas about [ourselves], our attitudes toward other people, and our habits of approaching and solving problems."'5 It is in the home that children learn lessons about cooperation, commitment, sharing, sacrifice, and obedience to the unenforceable, which form the foundation for self-government. Children learn from parents to adapt to shortages, care for others, be happy, love liberty, fulfill one's duties, and learn critical citizenship and social skills of mutual respect and cooperation. 6 Thus, it is not surprising to learn that children are less cooperative and more aggressive when raised in day care programs that separate them from their mothers and place them in institutional settings during the working day. 7 Most adults learn the importance of, and refine the techniques of, sacrificing for others, caring for the next generation, looking beyond the present and nurturing the basics of life and community when they marry and raise children. 

The interconnectedness of our lives with government, especially self-government, is first learned at home. The home is the most important learning institution in a democracy. Husband and wife, as well as parents and children, learn important lessons of happy and successful living as they work, play, plan, cooperate, laugh, weep, prosper, and share each other's pains and sorrows. Trusting others and the future is nurtured--or hindered by experiences at home. This is the indispensable prerequisite for democracy. More than 150 years ago, the perceptive French social commentator, Alexis de Tocqueville, observed the relationship between the new democracy in America and American family life. 

Given the spectacle of public scandals involving family infidelities committed by high public officials in the United States, as well as the notoriously promiscuous lifestyles of the "rich and famous" in movies and television, one might wonder today whether de Tocqueville's description of family life in America 165 years ago is still accurate."9 Of course, there are many "Americas." If one looks to middle class "America," with its "ordinary" men and women, husbands and wives, parents and children, grandparents and ex tended families, one would find de Tocqueville's observations about the love of family and family life still quite accurate. Foreign viewpoints such as de Tocqueville's observe the importance of the family in the American political system, but this regard is not exclusive to foreign observers. The importance of the family in the American political system is celebrated within the United States as well. Throughout its history, the United States Supreme Court has discussed the importance of marriage and family. In 1878, in Reynolds v. United States,'0 the Court described marriage as central to American society. "Upon it society may be said to be built, and out of its fruits spring social relations and social obligations and duties, with which government is necessarily required to deal

In addition, family law theorists "affirm ... the vital role that families play in preserving the fundamental liberal values underlying the constitutional structure [of American democracy]."" The norms and political structure of the United States government, therefore, directly influence the structure of, and the values inculcated in the family. The relationship between the state, social order and family structure illustrated above is not limited to the United States or western societies. In Japan, for example, family structure and cultural values that are inculcated by the family affect the successful use of informal dispute resolution in family law courts. ' In concert with the family's influence, a profound change in Japanese family structure began in 1947 because the pre-World War II ie, or iye, system, which was a hierarchical, patriarchal, rigid, authoritarian, powerful family model, was deemed incompatible with democracy and the desired political values of equality and liberty.' Consequently, "[a]fter its defeat in the Second World War... Japan was forced to undertake democratic reforms, both politically and socially, as a result of the governing policies of the Allied Forces... [and] the iye system which was built on a principle of inequality, was abolished" by the Constitution of 1946 and the Civil Code revisions of 1947.' 7 Efforts were even made by some occupying authorities to curtail the fertility of Japanese families on the theory that "population pressures had caused or contributed to Japanese militarism and aggression."' Thus, the Japanese experience, like that of other nations, exemplifies the tie between family and national systems, values, and well-being.

The Nursery of Individual and Social Responsibility

Family forms that underscore public commitment are an important foundation for self-government. Marriage is thus more for the community than for the individuals; the couple says their vows for the community who gather to witness them pledge their troth to each other. Likewise, family structures that bind parents to children, not with mere legal formalities, but with daily contact, living responsibilities, and ongoing relationships, enhance society. Marriage-based families, therefore, are best for children, providing the potentially optimal environment in which children may be conceived, raised, and taught the lessons of responsible living. Because stable marriage-based families are best for children and their parents, they are also best for society, as the costs and consequences to society of unformed, unstable, broken, and dysfunctional families are enormous, as well as tragic. 

They observed also that "children who grow up with both parents are more successful in making the transition from adolescence to adulthood than children who grow up with only one parent. Similarly, the health, longevity, income, and life satisfaction of married men and women is generally and consistently higher than for divorced, separated, and often even single adults." 

Society has an interest in fostering family structures that produce such positive and socially-beneficial results-results that avoid lost productivity, reduce tax expenditures for medicines, health services, and social security, and prevent, to some degree, the social costs of dysfunctional behavior of struggling adolescents from broken homes. Thus, society has a direct and measurable interest in fostering good, happy marriages and stable, loving families. Of course, there are limits on the extent to which the law and society can control human behavior. Laws reflect as well as shape human values. This is especially true of family law. "Family law is deeply rooted in the consciousness of the people, their morals and religion, their culture and social values, as well as their politics." 3 The normative substance and structure of a nation's laws, particularly its laws defining and regulating family relations, manifest or at least provide some measure of the family structures and family values of that particular society. Enlightened law reform reflects the finest traditions of family life while encouraging and enhancing improvements in the quality and nature of family relations, family stability, and family functions. The skillful use of law to protect, strengthen, and improve family life in any society requires an inspired blend of understanding the culture and family relations, deference to tradition, and vision of possibilities for improvement that go far beyond naked "social engineering."